Across Any Universe

"Knowing how to take a punch only helps if you can also throw a good one. Otherwise you're just a glorified punching bag." It was no wonder the other trolls loved beating on him, Dave thought with a frown. A kid who could take punches was all the more satisfying to break in the end.

"I have teeth and claws, I don't need to know how to throw a punch" Karkat rolled his eyes. "Trolls fight more like feral animals half the time anyway. Less predictability moves the game in your favor. Means you're harder to block or pin down." He smiled and bumped his shoulder against Dave's arm. "Plus I can kick my way out of a locker."

"Well then by all means you just keep on keeping on as you have all this time," Dave responded, bumping back into the shorter boy. "Not everyday we Striders extend the hand of kindness to you less fortunate souls, but hey sounds like you've got it all under control, maybe you can even teach me a thing or two."

Karkat acted like he was looking Dave up and down. "Nah. Too lanky" he teased. "Not enough muscle to kick over a puff weed, let alone a locker door." He bumped Dave's arm again. "You'll have to rely on me to kick open things for you. And you'll get to do all the running." He let out a happy warble, grabbing Dave's hand and lacing their fingers together. "You look strong enough to at least carry me."

Dave's mind short-circuited, a strangled half-noise that may have been the beginning of words escaping his lips before he could stop it. A result of the sudden hand intwined with is own or the surprisingly adorable noise that came from the troll boy he could not be sure, but his cheeks grew aflame behind his shades. Clearing his throat, he attempted to regain all of his lost cool with a smile he knew made the girls swoon.

"Anything for you, my prince," he said, bringing their hands to his lips to kiss Karkat's knuckles. Over the tops of his sunglasses, the reds of his eyes met Karkat's own for just a second. "I'd carry you to the next school over."

Karkat let out another warble that though it sounded pleased, certainly had an embarrassed quality to it. His cheeks certainly flushed as he shyly looked away from Dave's eyes and gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm sure that isn't necessary" he mumbled. "Wouldn't want to tire you out too soon"

Dave'so brow raised at this new noise and what he thought may have been a hint of redness in Karkat'so cheeks. It was hard to tell behind the thickness of troll skin, but he knew his own abilities and there was no way Karkat couldn't be blushing. With a smirk growing on his face, Dave stepped his game up a notch. "But how could I ever tire when I'm powered by the feelings of interspieces love?" He teased, enjoying the way the red grew bolder. He glanced up--with all the talking the Strider apartment was only 50 or so yards away. Without any warning, he scooped Karkat'so dense body up in his arms and began runnjng.

Karkat let out a sharp noise of surprise, clutching at Dave tightly. When karkat realized just what Dave was doing, he buried his face in dave's neck, making a noise reminiscent of a group of cicadas. His grip tightened slightly, though he was still mindful of his claws.

Karkat was heavier than Dave assumed, and though he knew he'd be able to make it to his apartment, unless he started going to the gym with his Bro to bulk up there was no way he'd be able to carry the troll boy out of the school, much less to the next one over. That was saying nothing of his current speed--without a question several of the faster trolls would be able to catch up with them.

It was a struggle not to let just how exhausted the short run had left him show, so as Dave softly let Karkat out of his arms when he reached the building he used the few seconds he had where the troll was distracted by getting himself situations on ground to wipe the perspiration from his face and take a few deep breaths. When he turned to face him again Dave looked as impassive and composed as ever, save for the small smile on his lips.

"Satisfied with my performance, my prince?"

Karkat swatted Dave's arm with a scowl, though his face was still dark. "You scared the shut out of me, give me a little warning next time!" He chittered when he finished talking, the sound far from agitated. He grabbed Dave's hand again, gesturing with his free hand for Dave to continue onwards. "This it?"

"Can't blame me for wanting to keep things fresh and interesting, don't want you getting bored of me and running off into the arms of some other human," Dave teased, giving Karkat's hand a squeeze. He led them into the building and up several floors of stairs, gesturing with a frequency some may consider alarming to areas where the wood was a bit too weak or parts of the railing you didn't want to put weight on. On the top floor he finally stopped at a wooden door with badly chipped white paint and fished the keys out of the pocket of his skinny jeans. "This is is, casa del Strider."

Karkat put up with Dave's mother-henning with a soft smile. It was admittedly nice, especially since he wasn't dragging Karkat around the obstacles bodily as Kankri would have done, but told him ahead of time where not to step so he could avoid it on his own. He was only breathing slightly heavier than normal when they reached the top, but he wasn't outright panting, so he counted that as a win as Dave pulled out his keys.

"So are we going to be here alone?" he asked Dave curiously. He knew Dave lived with his brothers, Dirk mentioned it enough when Karkat talked to him, but he didn't know what the other two's schedules were like. As it was, he was unsure what to expect of the oldest Strider, whom Dirk and Dave only ever vaguely called 'Bro'.

"Not likely," Dave said shortly. Dirk would be on the computer in his room by now talking to his friends, which only left Bro... Turning the key in the lock, Dave held his breath and tensed his muscles as he opened the door...

And released when an attack did not imminently come at him. He did a quick scan of the room--nothing out of the ordinary. There were no noticeable noises or odors, nothing else seemed off for the moment.

"Dirk, Bro, I brought a friend. Nothing weird, okay?" Still only silence. Dave turned to Karkat, "I think it's okay for you to come in. Just watch your step, and don't touch anything. We're gonna head to my room."

Karkat nodded, careful to follow Dave. A brightly colored plush toy with a strangely phallic nose caught his attention and he deviated from their path to stop and pick it up. "This is... Oddly cute. Is this from one of those cartoons that Dirk and your Bro like or something?" Karkat asked, turning so Dave could see the nearly neon blue plush.

Everything stopped. From the moment Karkat began speaking, Dave knew exactly what had happened. The strategically placed, impossible to miss plush rump no longer caught his attention after years of falling for the same trap over and over again, but Karkat had grown up with no need to fear these odd creatures and no idea of what danger he had just placed himself in. Time began again, strangely slow. Dave reached for Karkat, hoping to grab the smuppet or move him out of harm's way--he wasn't sure. He was too late. His mouth opened in a wide "O" as a hidden compartment directly above where the troll was standing opened in the ceiling and began showering down brightly colored asses.

Karkat's head jerked up with a hiss when the first smuppet thumped his horn. He flailed slightly, more out of reflex of having things flying past his face than anything else, trying to bat the smuppets away. He turned, possibly to move out of the way, possibly to move to Dave, and tripped, going down under a mountain of neon plush rumps with a noise one might achieve by putting cicadas in a blender. After a moment he was out of sight, and the noise abruptly stopped. When the last smuppet settled, a mountain of felt where Karkat once stood, a soft purring could somewhat be heard coming from somewhere withing the pile... Or was it the noise of vibrations?

As soon as the smuppets began to fall, Dave tried to do something but found himself paralyzed--trapped watching the same event that had befallen him time and time again but from an outside perspective. Fear came crashing down on him as suddenly as Karkat disappeared from view, and it was not until the rumbling purr emitted from the pile that Dave could move again. He rushed to the pile calling Karkat's name and begun moving the plushes out of the way.

"Karkat huh? Not a very original name for a kitty, little bro."

Karkat laid on his back at the bottom of the pile, eyes closed as he purred. The smuppet that started it all was loosely grasped to his chest, phallic, fuzzy nose resting against his chin. He suddenly couldn't be bothered by getting buried under a mountain of plushies, and he suddenly understood why his species had the urge to burrow into piles of things or make their nests pile-like. It was quite nice and comforting.

Like a fucking ninja from one of his hentai anime, Bro had appeared at the foot of the pile, scant feet away from where Dave was trying to uncover his friend. He flew backwards on his butt, startled. "Shit Bro, it's not a fucking cat it's one of my classmates and if you killed him or caused him mental harm in any capacity your ass is grass."

A few more smuppets later and Dave found Karkat lying on his back, blue plush puppet that had started it all loosely held to his chest, eyes closed and... purring?

"Karkat? You okay bro?" Dave asked, concern evident.

"Probably" Karkat replied without opening his eyes. "I don't do a lot of particularly trollish things, but now I kind of understand the hoarding and piling and burrowing." He shrugged vaguely. "Comforting and shit." He lazily lifted a hand and waved it until he found a part of Dave, and he just papped him.

"Um, okay." Dave had seen a few trolls snuggling on piles of crap in secluded classrooms in the past, but he'd always assumed it was something sexual in nature and had never had reason to find out otherwise. But Karkat didn't look turned on right now, just sleepy and a bit out of it. It was kind of cute, if he could just get over the pile of smuppets poking their probiscus' in places they didn't belong.

"Chill Dave, he's just a troll doin' troll things." Bro crouched down in front of the pile and held a hand out to Karkat, grinning when the small troll complied with a high-five. "My man. You've got good sense, little man, these dudes are made with the finest shit out there, soft enough for a baby, totally hypoallergenic, and vegan to boot. You can't get finer quality out there."

"They're kinda cute" Karkat purred, lifting the blue smuppet to his face so they were nose to nose. "Even if they kinda look like fuzzy dicks. People dicks though, not troll dicks. Troll dicks are gross." Karkat moved the smuppet again, turning it so he could pap Dave with its butt. "Butts"

"I tried telling Dave that exact thing when he was younger, but the little shit didn't want to listen to me then either. If not your big bro, you should listen to your friend, Dave! Might have to disagree with him on his opinion of troll dicks though." Bro spoke as he picked up a smuppet of his own, turning the awful green creature over in his hands before poking Karkat's cheek with its nose.

"Okay, no no no no no you cut that shit out right now, Karkat we are leaving we are getting out of here, I should have been clearer when I said don't touch anything and I'm sorry I got you into this mess but we are no going to my room and will have no more of this whatsoever. Come on." He swapped the smuppet out of Karkat's hand, and then the one from Bro's and grabbed Karkat by his wrist and began pulling him upright and away from the trauma-inducing scene he was still living.

Karkat made a soft noise of protest at the loss of the smuppet, but allowed himself to be pulled upright. He tried to grab the blue smuppet before he was fully upright, managing to snag it by one of its curved legs. "I'm naming it sir electric blue razzmatazz. Are you really going to separate us Dave? Sir Razzmatazz is a gentleman and should be respected." He hugged the smupet to his chest again.

"Yeah Dave, you gonna take away your pal's new pal?" Bro parroted, grinning widely. Dave looked from his asshole of a brother to the cute troll hugging that... foul, disturbing plush he likely didn't understand the significance of and cursed under his breath.

"You can keep it but I sure as shit won't respect it. And I don't want to see it anywhere ear me, now let's go."

"See ya dude," Bro waved as the two disappeared down the hall and behind the loud closing of Dave's door.